things you shouldn’t say

“Why don’t you just do it on your own? Men are pretty useless.”  – My well meaning sister

Combines well with this article:  Thanks, bitterbabe.

The simple fact – not that it is anyone’s damn business in the first place – is that most childless women today feel the decision was taken out of their hands through lack of financial and emotional security. According to a study in Australia’s Journal of Population Health, many childless women in their 30s want to have children, but can’t due to reasons ”beyond their control” such as not having a partner, stable relationship, or partner that wants children.

Read more:



About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
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4 Responses to things you shouldn’t say

  1. ellaflutter says:

    I didn’t read the article, just what’s in your post here and I think that’s true. Many women want to be mothers and have a family. But I feel strongly that a child should come from the love you have for your partner, as an extension of your bond. Even if it’s an adopted child this still applies. (Not to say that I think others are wrong or object to them, but this is my personal opinion and I believe strongly in it so I wouldn’t do any different)

  2. tidewater says:

    Ella, I’ve been thinking about your comment all day. I do agree. I never felt strongly about having a child until I was in love (with Mr. Faraway).

    But, if this is true – what about the very large percentage of couples that get married, have a kid, and get divorced? This is so commonplace, and certainly doesn’t really reflect the love of a partner thing. I can’t figure it all out.

  3. reocochran says:

    I think that it is fine to try and raise a child without a partner, as long as there is a community of friends, family and good male role models. My children were 1, 3 and 5 when I raised them with a weekend ex-husband (2 x monthly). They seem fine, things went well over all and my brothers were great examples as well as my father for them!

    • tidewater says:

      I really hope that it is possible for it to work out this way. It’s a little harder in the islands, where real family is much farther away (5000 miles!). But I do have a “hanai”ed family – a surrogate father, aunt(s), sisters, uncles who I have adopted and have adopted me. I’ve even sort of warned them that it might go that way! None of their families are here, either, so… I must finish this PhD!

mahalo for your comment!

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