you don’t know you’re beautiful

I had a little girls night out last night.  I would never voluntarily watch ‘The Bachelor’, but I like to hang out with these smart funny women sometimes, and they lean slightly more sorority girl than myself.  They also cook some amazing food – bruschetta and potato pancakes and guacamole and some fine wine.  In return, I hold back most of my snarky comments about ‘The Bachelor’ and the gaggle of girls we ‘research’ (I swear this was the word for spending the day reading about it on the internet).

On the episode, a beautiful woman named Leslie finally gets her chance, while decked out in Beverly Hills finest, to speak to the guy at dinner.  She says very simply – ‘I’m looking for a partner, a father, a husband.  Communication is the most important.’  She is eloquent.  But the date doesn’t fly, and she is the first to be told to leave after such a date.  Another girl earned her second date by cuddling up to the guy half naked and talking about how she was scared and using a baby voice.  Ah… American TV.

But it did get me thinking about dating.  The smart women I was with (half of whom have their phds in the sciences, which coincidently overlaps with their singleness) suggested that Leslie behaved much like they did on a date.  The two girls with boyfriends were both 24, not 30, and were dating our male science colleagues (who were 30).  I initially didn’t think that I resembled Leslie on my first dates.  But on second thought…

I considered the lyrics of a One Direction (a teeny pop band) song – ‘What Makes You Beautiful’:

You don’t know you’re beautiful,
If only you saw what I can see,
You’ll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,
You don’t know you’re beautiful, oh oh,
That’s what makes you beautiful.

And I’m thinking – the girls who make it to the end on these shows are always who pretend to be insecure, who don’t reveal where they want to go in life from the beginning, who don’t  portray confidence about life choices.  They can be confident in their sexuality, but that doesn’t lead to a long term relationship (This is ‘The Bachelor’… ) .  I am probably like Leslie – too clear, too confident, and definitely don’t want to be in a position where ‘I don’t know I’m beautiful’.



About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
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3 Responses to you don’t know you’re beautiful

  1. I don’t know why I watch “The Bachelor”. Actually, most of the time I only catch the last 30 or so minutes of it, which is probably the only interesting part, you know, when you see who gets the ax. Anyway, I’m finding that Tierra girl to be annoying and I’m not sure why I care at all about any of them. The show is not new, they all know what they’re getting themselves into. Which makes me wonder this: Why would you ever want to go on that show??? I mean, this guy basically gets to makes out with a bunch of women, feed them all the same lines because he knows it will get him some lip action, and then he’ll whittle them down one by one until he finds the one that strokes his ego the most and lets him get as far as he wants. It’s such a bad show, but we watch it anyway. And I think I know why I watch it: I think I watch it because it’s entertaining to see beautiful women get tossed aside. I’m sure that sounds awful, but when you’re not as beautiful as the women on this show, and instead are average to below average in the looks department and have gotten your heart broken too many times to count, it’s a little nice to see someone that good looking get the boot – especially when they knew what they were getting into.

    Am I terrible for saying that? Maybe. Or maybe I’m just jaded and cynical about things now.

  2. tidewater says:

    It is perplexing why we watch the Bachelor. Most likely it’s sort of like rubbernecking a bad accident. For me, it’s to hang out with single female friends my own age and eat tasty food while having something to talk about that isn’t so serious.

    i have no idea why you would go on the show, except that it might make you seem like a “better catch” when you return home.

  3. reocochran says:

    I watch with my 27 year old daughter who also thinks we are doing ‘research’ but I also watch to see if I can predict who will ‘win’ the husband. I am still clueless in relationships. (Even at my old age of 57!) I appreciate you looking at my posts and liking some of them! I enjoy the way you write!

mahalo for your comment!

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