growing up from Girls

And that’s the thing – I never knew growing up would be so hard.  I expected to get married, find a job and buy a house.  -Mr. FEMA, 30

It’s rare to hear these sentiments from a guy – probably because I don’t talk as intimately with my male friends, and probably because guys are less likely to admit a degree of failure.

Have you watched the show Girls?  It’s vaguely Sex-In-The-City-like, except the girls are much younger and much poorer.  I mention it here only because it is hard to get over the emotion that wells up watching it.  It is like watching my own train wreck.  My 20s weren’t entirely that tumultuous, but they were really close.  Bad sex, traveling for the sake of traveling, dreaming, a job you hate, a boyfriend you break up with simply because it is boring, parents who don’t understand, experiments with drugs for ‘life experience’.  Marnie says ‘I wish someone would just choose a life for me already’ (see Arranged).  Watching this show is like watching a bad movie about my own life, with my personality split into 4 characters.

The show introduced a thirty-something this week;  Ray admitted he is not only 33, but also homeless.  In your twenties you may have felt lost, but it was still an adventure.  Many, like Mr. FEMA, Mr. Faraway, and this Ray character, arrive at their thirties broken -> divorced, poor, in a bad job, some broken family relationships.

For me, I feel like I’m finally finding my way and am clawing out of ‘Girls’- but at 32 maybe I shouldn’t be terribly proud that I have a stable low-paying job and a small apartment of my own.  I’m optimistic about my own future, and am convinced the secret to finding happiness is to reach out to others.  I wonder what this show could possibly imagine happens at 40??!


About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
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