I went on *three* dates this weekend. It was like all the guys who had been waiting for my long distance kerfuffle to end decided to make their moves at the same time. Unfortunately, two of these gentlemen were whole-heartedly with other women. Why they decided it was ok to parade me around on dates is a little beyond me, but i accepted the attention graciously.
But the third date was different. this was a gentleman, who i’ve known for some time. for lack of a better name, i’ll call him Mr. Window Washer (WW). he called me up, asking me properly out for drinks, opened doors, paid for those drinks, and generally treated me to the first lovely date i’ve had in years. there was chemistry. he is the right age (43). he is adventurous, moderately cute, un-attached, and warm. we weren’t bored for a second. i would say i went home a little woozy, and not from the wine.
Between drink 1 and drink 2, he laid it out on the table that he was not interested in having children. this was not my question to him, obviously. i am left with the dilemma of whether to wait for a man who wants to build a family with me, or be wined and dined on a sail boat in the middle of the pacific ocean by a charming, handsome man.
When asked why he was so adamant about not wanting children, he said that he just knew it wasn’t for him – all that picking kids up at school, shuffling them around, waiting for them to grow up. At the same time, it was obvious that he was a natural uncle. He had had relationships that would have ended in marriage fall apart because of differences about children.
I guess that guys experience some of the same pressures as women when they choose against being parents. I found myself mildly embarrassed that I didn’t really know how to respond to the notion that he didn’t want children, ever, with anyone. It was hard to believe from my own baby-obsessed perspective. Today I found myself doing a double-take of my own, questioning if my resolve is as serious as I think it is. If I had to choose between the love of an honest husband and having a family, what would I do?
I don’t know, but I sure hope he calls.