Having it all”—being the perfect homemaker and employee—makes it hard to find time for intimacy, stresses both parents out, and generally puts an enormous strain on a marriage, and indeed the study’s closing finding is that couples in which a woman earns more than her husband are less likely to report that they’re happy in their marriage—and their unions are more likely to end in divorce.
I know that for me, when I was on the way to making a lot of money back in the day, it felt very uncomfortable. I really felt like it was a lot harder to feel okay in a relationship.
I don’t think the same is true in academia. I could date a guy with less degrees, especially if I downplay my ambition. This is awful, but it is my truth for now. One of my former advisors once said to me “But you girls know how to play dumb, don’t you?”. You can learn to play dumb (maybe), but you can’t hide how much you make.