Freezing my eggs is not at the front of my mind today.  But it is on the front page of the paper:

While this does not exactly seem like my solution to my problems today, I certainly thought about freezing my eggs a couple months ago when my relationships seemed to be unraveling.  I have the money that I could spend on a project like this.  I was really put off by the hormone treatments, but I’m sure it would be okay in the end.  I even called to set up an appointment, which I didn’t attend.

The woman who they interview, though, is 40, and just now freezing her eggs.  To have a child late in the game like that is certainly en vogue, but if I am tired now at the end of the day, I imagine I will be even more tired a decade from now with a 2-yr-old.

My week has really been full of the idea that I need to solidly make choices.  And for me, I think that I don’t want to try to have the high-powered career as a researcher at the same time as a family, especially when my kids would be small.  I still may choose to just be an academic, but trying to balance it all seems like a recipe for disaster for me.  There is no maternity leave whatsoever at the university!

A group of much older women colleagues hammered this home for me.  As I looked around, half of the women professors in my department had kids.  And they were certainly struggling to hold it all together.  All with kids were married to someone at the university, someone who was more successful usually (except for one).  66% had a spouse within academia.   I wonder if it will be different a generation from now.  Today, it seems like a real tough road to go down.


About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
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