Everything goes in cycles, and for me, I see-saw back and forth between having faith that having a family will be good for me, and dreading that I will lose some supposed freedom. I know I am not the only one, but for me, some of the wishy-washy-ness seems directly related to who I am with.
One of the fears I have is that I will not be a good mother. When I am with Mr. Faraway, I don’t feel this at all. I am so very in love with him that I want to be able to do the best for him, and for some reason that translates for me into wanting to be a great mother and part of his family. I love his daughter in a way that I didn’t expect to. We talked about children very quickly after meeting.
When I am by myself, though, or going on dates with these new gentlemen (right now it’s Mr. Viking), I am sort of overcome with the old me I knew before I got involved with Mr. Faraway. Kids are not my forte. I don’t like other people’s kids, usually. I like my life, my quiet, my meditation time, my social activities.
Is the lesson so simple as – if you are in love and it seems right, having a family becomes obvious and not such a big deal?