There are a lot of choices when you date. I think it really is possible to get what you want, but you have to first know what you want.
Over Thai food this evening a friend made some great observations. You see, I’m still in the middle of a Mr. Faraway (who is again a little closer, not so close) versus Mr. Mexican soccer player debate. Mr. Faraway is unstable, emotional, passionate, an intellectual challenge and highly self-absorbed in everything but you – his work, his daughter. He is financially a wreck at the moment, although he has a lot of potential. He is faraway in lots of ways, and comes around like a comet every month or so. It was a battle for him to call me his girlfriend (but not to tell me he loves me – emotional overtures are easy). He is electric in bed.
Mr. Mexican soccer player is stable and always smiling. He is happy with life, if not a little depressed that he doesn’t have someone to snuggle up with. He has a cozy apartment nearby. At the end of the work day, he likes to relax. He always responds to my texts, asks me how I am, and in general, is calm and content. He has already said he just wants a nice stable girlfriend to hang out with every night and hug. Granted, he is in his mid-40s with an 11-year-old son, so perhaps a new family is not what he is bargaining for.
And then there is me. I closely approximate Mr. Faraway. We are hot oil droplets in a wet pan. It is always fiery. This makes it incredibly emotionally intense and exciting – so exciting that I am willing to fly tens of thousands of miles from theoretical paradise just to put up with his craziness. I like intense and exciting. This is likely why I am not married. When I do find the marrying kind they are boring to me! I need to find a way to let myself like boring.