Well, Mr. Faraway came back the day after the last post and sent me the warmest, most frank, most loving email I’ve ever had from him – and apologized for all the things he said on the phone. It’s taken two days to fully recover, but now I am all gushy and miss him.
Everyone says long distance is close to impossible to do. Yes, it is hard, but here are some of the wonderful aspects.
Intimacy. Because we’ve always been long distance (and never actually lived in the same place), we’ve solidly set our communication routines and know what to expect. We can’t just have sex and not say anything – we have to talk to one another. When I’m in a bad mood, he can tell from the slight of a text, the smallest pause in responding.
Sex. When we’re together, it’s amazing. When we’re not, we both can focus on our careers. I’ve had more intimacy in a video session than I’ve had with all my other boyfriends in real life. We’ve gotten used to using words and language to allowing all of our fantasies to become true through whatever form of communication we’re using.
Independence and space. Sometime later I’ll address whether women can have commitment issues just as badly as men, but for now I’ll say that having your own place, and living on your own schedule isn’t so bad. The low points are the weekend mornings, but it also nice to eat dinner in your pajamas at the computer sometimes.
Time zone fun. If I have a bad dream in the middle of the night, he is always awake and attentive.
Time zone fun part II. Sex always in the late afternoon is pretty fun.
The mail. Nothing is more exciting than receiving lovely things from him in the mail. Waking up to poetry in email, or a text sent in the night, or a letter by snail mail keeps us alive.
But alas, all this chatter about distance, and you can’t help also remembering that it would be great if he were here to hug you goodnight.