This is an amazing, refreshing perspective on a possible set of measures that “define” a woman:
- Her job*
- Her relationship with a partner*
- Her relationship with her children*
- Time available for herself
- Her friends
- Her sense of home or place
- Her sense of independence or autonomy
Combined with my previous post on identity, finding this list is incredibly validating. The first three are what I normally feel are the benchmarks of a successful woman. This is how society judges us, how we judge ourselves. But the last four are just as important in figuring our whether a woman feels satisfied with her life.
My life in my current place embodies deep satisfaction with the last four. I have friends, time to exercise and read, a place I love and developing sense that I *own* my life (not just my apartment or car or whatever, but the decisions that will make my life). I even have the job I wanted, that reflects who I am at my core.
So why, then, am I ready to leave the country and abandon everything for the kids and the partner – a partner who is remarkably hot and cold sometimes?
Identity is about finding a way to own your choices in these areas of your life.