Divided Lives

This is an amazing, refreshing perspective on a possible set of measures that “define” a woman:

  • Her job*
  • Her relationship with a partner*
  • Her relationship with her children*
  • Time available for herself
  • Her friends
  • Her sense of home or place
  • Her sense of independence or autonomy

Combined with my previous post on identity, finding this list is incredibly validating. The first three are what I normally feel are the benchmarks of a successful woman.  This is how society judges us, how we judge ourselves.  But the last four are just as important in figuring our whether a woman feels satisfied with her life.

My life in my current place embodies deep satisfaction with the last four.  I have friends, time to exercise and read, a place I love and developing sense that I *own* my life (not just my apartment or car or whatever, but the decisions that will make my life).  I even have the job I wanted, that reflects who I am at my core.

So why, then, am I ready to leave the country and abandon everything for the kids and the partner – a partner who is remarkably hot and cold sometimes?

Identity is about finding a way to own your choices in these areas of your life.


About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
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