The roaring 20s

I thought I was playing like a boy in my 20s.  I didn’t particularly want to settle down (especially in my early 20s), was focused on traveling and going to school.  I didn’t really ever truly see myself having kids, because I struggled to settle down long enough to do that, and because I associated the family life with extreme boredom, frustration and lack of options for a woman.   When I turned 29 or so, that changed dramatically, and the urge to settle became strong, although obviously I had no skills whatsoever in finding a “good guy” after all that time playing the field.

There is still something like a petulant child in me that says “It’s just not fair”.  No one ever suggested to me in my 20s that I should consider my “value” as a mate declining.  I was encouraged to be successful, live the adventurous life I wanted.  Now, in my 30s, people still tell me “oh, you have time”.  I just do not think so.

And so, I surrender having any control whatsoever (it seems) on finding a life partner to have a child with.  Even if I am ready.

Advertisements

About tidewater

thirty-something, mostly single, finding a path.
This entry was posted in Life path. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The roaring 20s

  1. Oh my! I can relate to this one particularly around always imagining myself childless and associating feelings of being trapped with settling down and having children. I’m still not ready though. Seems like you might be!

    • tidewater says:

      Might is the key word! I can’t tell you how far my pendulum still swings sometimes -between being determined to go it alone soon enough (34 is the magic number?, shall i freeze some eggs?), to imagining a life cruising the developing world in a sail boat with a handsome older lover.

      But yes, I guess the pendulum is swinging a little less these days.

mahalo for your comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s